My feet ache, my ankle has been rubbed raw by my damned sneaker, my thighs are thudding with pain and my back hurts inside and out (sore muscles plus horribly uncomfortable bra all day equals SAD PANDA back). My head is swimming, I feel like my semester is already in danger of sucking so much ass AND…. there might not be a next year guaranteed for me.

Let’s back this train up.

First class was friendly but quiet as church mice. I went over the syllabus, no ice-breakers just straight up info, and they did NOT want to talk at all at the end. Well okay. Next class was quiet in the same manner, didn’t really say much and made vague gestures towards answering my questions at the end just to get out of class early.

Break. Eat a granola bar and some Coke Zero.

Walk out to next class, is a bit more lively, did some ice-breakers with them.

Last class was talkative and a bit rowdy, I have a feeling that a lot of them were referred to my class by my LAST semester 12:20 bunch. We had fun, and all throughout the day I’m showing them the book they need for class, the readings and assignments, etc etc and all day I’m getting confused kids saying that they’ve bought the book but it doesn’t look like mine. Okay, no problem, I check the bookstore website.

Huh. They’ve got the 4th edition of the book up, and I’ve based my ENTIRE READING SCHEDULE on the third.

So I call the bookstore, and speak with the woman in charge of book orders. I explain what’s going on, and she pulls up all her info on the other end… only to snipe at me that I didn’t give an ISBN number when ordering my book, and said that I wanted the “most recent edition… I think it’s the 3rd.” I explained to her that when I made that order the most recent edition WAS the third, I checked it online before I emailed her that order, and she says they cannot get the third edition because it is out of date and no longer circulated.

MOTHERFUCK.

So I start to freak out. “What am I to do? I mean, there’s no way I can get my students that book?” I asked her.

“No Ma’am, you cannot.”

“Well, can I get a copy of this new book so that I can know what the heck I’m expected to teach from?”

“We used to have a program where you could borrow  books but we don’t any longer. You’ll have to buy it.”

“Are you serious? I’ll just use Blackboard to post the old chapters, maybe I can do that.”

Nasty tone: “Well I don’t think that’s legal but sure, go ahead.”

“It’s not? But teachers do it all the time for supplimental reading, it’s part of our teaching tools.”

“I wouldn’t know anything about that, Ma’am.”

Frustration tipping point reached: I am DONE.

“Fine, thanks, I’ll figure it out from here BYE” *click*

So…. had to go out and buy the damned book. 75 bucks on my credit card I’ve just worked on paying down. *string of explitives* So now I have to read this fucking book and see how far off it is from the previous version, change my syllabus schedule to reflect the new version and get that posted. Seriously, I had everything lined up perfectly… and now I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

*screams*

Oh, and to top it all off, I ended up chatting with my mentor C. today (she’s also the department head now, one step away from mega boss of the Writing Dept) and she basically told us we better start looking for other job opportunities, because the budget cuts on campus may lead indirectly to a lowering of the number of adjuncts. DOUBLEFUCK.

So that means the sense of urgency with which I send around my resume has just quadrupled. I feel sick to my stomach and defeated, like how much fucking more  meaningless and underpaid could my life get?

Yeah. Not the best day, not the best beginning to a semester. *bangs head on desk*